"What is sharper than the sword? -- The
reproach of an adversary."
__ from the riddle contest between
Fionn and Grainne (trans. CM) Scottish lore
There is nothing like the sting of an opponent's criticism to needle us into reaction. Such criticisms trespass upon our self-esteem and dent our pride past bearing. We find ourselves retaliating with scornful rejoinders and we think up vengeful scenarios that will teach the opponent a well-placed lesson even though we do not intend to implement them. Leaving aside unjust, outrageous or malignant criticism, most criticism has a kernel of truth, which is what makes it so painful to receive. We are aware, even as we are hurt by the words, that there is some justification for complaint or reproach. The criticism of friends strikes us with less force, since it is usually framed in a kindly way, but the criticism of enemies - who see with the deadly eye of knowledge what we are all about - is threateningly penetrating.
For Fionn, the sting of Grainne's reproach lay in the fact that he was old - something that he could do nothing about. In courting a woman several decades his junior, he laid himself open to such treatment.
There is no fool like an old fool, they say, and certainly Fionn experienced the full shame and reproach of rejection here.
We can learn from our opponents a good deal more about ourselves than we will ever learn from forbearing friends.
"Consider a recent incident in which one of your opponents criticized you. What truth emerges from your reflection? What does your reflection tell you about yourself and how you conduct your life? What resolve springs up in you as a result?"
[From: The Celtic Spirit by Caitlin Matthews]
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