"Running ever through my head is an old-time rune -- "Who meets the Love Talker must weave her shroud soon."
___Ethna Carberry. "The Lover Talker"
This poem speaks about a faery spirit called the Love Talker, who is said to come to young women and cause them to fall hopelessly in love with him. Such phantom lovers are not mythical. They still affect our world and draw our desires to them.
When we interact with phantom lovers, we draw upon the image of the ideal man or woman to which we naturally gravitate. The problem comes when we either project that image upon a living partner, relating to him in a totally false way, or become obsessed with the projected image and fall in love with it to the exclusion of our health and well-being. Then the characteristic signs of one lured away by the phantom lover are clearly visible: an inability to relate directly to those who love us, a distaste for usual pleasures and recreations, an unhealthy need for solitude. In such cases, we come under the spell the of the phantom lover and dance to his tune.
When we project our ideal image upon a real person, we create terrible confusion and heartache. We also expose ourselves to unsuitable relationships and even violent abuse: because we are in thrall to the ideal image, we do not see that its mundane reflection is not worthy of our love. The phantom lover speaks to us of things that are attractive but unrealistic. It is essential that we become aware of the reality of the situation and make a clear separation between the phantom lover as ideal image, our actual human partner, and the true image of our soul - the anima or animus. Finally, we should not confuse phantom lovers with our soul's beloved, the one who is the true friend of the soul and certainly no deceiver.
"Scrutinize your relationships for traces of the phantom lover. Ask your soul's beloved to give you help in clarifying this matter."
[From: "The Celtic Spirit" by Caitlin Matthews]
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