Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings

"The last thing I intended
Was for a deed to come between us."
   ___"The Song of Liadan," early Irish text (trans CM)


   Liadan (LEE'dun) and Curithir (KOO'reer) were poets who met while on their poetic circuit of noble houses and fell in love. Curithir suggested that they marry immediately, adding that any child of theirs would be famous. Perhaps piqued by his words and by the suggestion that Curithir thought more of any future child than of their very real love, Liadan took religious vows of chastity. When Curithir came to claim her as his wife, he was too late: she would not sleep with him, preferring to honor her poetry above her sexuality. The muddle was not helped when the lovers put themselves under the direction of the severe St. Cummine, who gave Carithir, the choice of seeing Liadan and not talking to her, or speaking to her without seeing her. Since he was a poet, he chose speech. In due time, the suspicious St. Cummine banished Curithir from his monastic settlement accusing him of sinful lust; Crithir then became a pilgrim and renounced Liadan's love. Liadan's subsequent poetry is a heart-rending, self-condemnation of her action. She eventually died while clutching the stone on which the exiled Curithir used to sit.
   When misunderstandings arise, they usually germinate in small and insignificant ways: a slighting glance, a failure to greet, a thoughtless word, a sense of exclusion or neglect - and so grow into substantial disasters. A phone call or letter or small token of apology can quickly bring reconciliation.

"Consider a situation in which you were misunderstood or were the agent of misunderstanding. What factors exacerbated the situation? How could the misunderstanding have been prevented? Is there a go-between who could have brought about reconciliation? Apply your realizations to a situation in which you are currently involved."
[From: "The Celtic Spirit" by Caitlin Matthews]