"I demanded a strange bride-gift such as no
woman before me had asked of a man.... a
husband without meanness, without jealousy,
without fear."
____ Tain Bo Cuailnge, Irish Text
In this quote Queen Maeve of Connacht enumerates the qualities she seeks in a husband. She cannot choose a mean husband, she says, because of her own generous nature; as long as a man is without fear, she is satisfied. She concludes that a jealous husband would not be of service to her either, since she is known for never being 'without one man in the shadow of another' - meaning that her successive lovers might be seen as an encumbrance to a jealous man!
What are the qualities of a perfect partner? These will vary from person to person. The qualities that most people seek are loving trust, faithfulness and commitment. But in any relationship, we must determine the nature of the contract from the outset, so as to avoid disappointment. If we later learn that our unspoken expectations are beyond the prospective partner's ability to fulfill, then we have only ourselves to blame for not making them clear enough earlier.
The perfect partner is generally the one who complements our own qualities, not the one who is the exact equivalent of ourselves. To have an exact counterpart would become very boring after a few weeks. The differences in a relationship often prove to be its strengths, while the similarities can become bones of contention, especially if the competitive element enters the relationship. In the presence of unhealthy competition, mutual respect soon falls by the wayside.
"What are the qualities of a perfect partner according to your personal criteria?"
[From: "The Celtic Spirit" by Caitlin Matthews]
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